England: Dangling By A Thread

It was the same theory of alternative reality that rolled into play in the middle of last year when a Steve McClaren coached England side was rapidly collapsing right from the centre. As the Gerrard, Lampard, Rooney and co failed to translate their individual flair into united efficiency, football pundits and commentators unleashed their plethora of what-could-be predictions.

At the time when the always intellectually barren English FA's decision to appoint Sven Goran-Erikkson's understudy McClaren to the so-called "most difficult job in football", England were bring written off by the media and the public alike. Contemplations on the English fans idling their 2008 summer watching the European Championships on their couch along with the England players were rife and the 50 million people were arguing against one another in an endeavour to unearth, yes, alternative solutions…..

Stevie and Frankie can't play together. Scratch out Frankie: he inhibits Stevie's game. When will McClaren listen? Hey, Frankie's world class, isn't he? He was the best English player in 2004 and 2005, boy! Gareth Barry as deputy to Lampard? Hmm….. decent player, but can he click in times of trouble? Total recall of Beckham, mate. We need his crosses and free-kicks. And please, no more Paul "Howler" Robinson…..he always lets the ball slip between his legs.

In October last year after their 2-0 defeat to Croatia, England were genuinely struggling with in Group E of the Euro 2008 qualifying campaign. The mathematicians were out with their calculators, trying to excavate a mathematical route to the Euro finals. Goal difference, a three-way tie, away goals all seeped into the picture but the question was: Would England qualify?

And the doubt lingers on; in fact, the apprehensions have multiplied. The equation was looking ridiculously simple when Steve McClaren flew his upbeat England side to a freezing Russia: win in Moscow and England go through; lose and your fate dangles by one single and loosely-attached thread.

Against all odds and in spite of an out-of-the-world yard volley authored by Wayne Rooney in the 29th minute from what appeared to be an offside position, England failed to gain victory on the artificial pitch at the Luznikhi Stadium. For much of the game, England were in cruise control, at least they didn't let the water flow under the bridge. But 4 minutes of madness forced McClaren's hopes to fade wade away. The hero turned villain, as Rooney characteristically knocked down Konstantin Zyryanov in the penalty area in the 69th minute. Roman Pavlyuchenko scored from the spot and the Russian super sub then broke clear after four minutes to nail what could be the final nail in England's coffin.